yanditswe na Olive Mukahirwa
Urukundo rumaze igihe ari rwiza ruraryoha, nta muntu ukundana n’undi yumva ateganya cyangwa yifuza kuzatandukana na we. Ibi ariko nabyo nubwo ari byiza ntibikuraho ko abakundana bagera igihe bagashwana kubera kutumva ibintu bimwe na bimwe kimwe. Uku gushwana rero iyo birenze urugero kandi bikananirana hari igihe abakundana bumvikana kureke urukundo barimo nyuma yo kubona ko kuguma bakundana batumvikana bitabaha amahoro n’umutuzo.
Gutandukana rero kw’abakundana birashoboka , bibaho kandi birasanzwe kuko n’abashakanye bamaze gusezerana kuzabana akaramata bijya bibashyikira bagatandukana.
Nta muntu n’umwe ujya wifuza kubaho mu ihungabana, mu rwikekwe , mu muhangayiko ubuzima bwe bw’ejo hazaza. Urubuga the discovery news ruratanga ingamba 10 wafata zikagufasha kwirinda ibibazo ushobora guhura nabyo mu gihe cyangwa nyuma yo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe.
1.Wisezerera uwo mwakundanaga ukoresheje telephone, ubutumwa kuri interineti, kumutumaho inshuti ze, kumwandikirira ibaruwa. Niyo waba utamuri hafi, rindira uzamusezerere aruko mwongeye kubonana. Ikindi kandi wirinde kugira undi muntu wabwira ko ugiye gutandukana nawe utari wabikora cyangwa utari wamwibwirira we ubwe. Bimwibwirire mbere y’abandi bose wumva ko ari ngombwa ko babimenya.
2. Wimuhamagara ngo aze iwawe abe ariho umusezerera, wowe ahubwo musange iwe. Si na byiza kandi kumutumaho ngo muhurire mu mugi ahantu uri bubimubwirire muhagaze. Shaka ahantu hatuje mwahurira mukicara. Mugihura banza uzane ibiganiro bisanzwe abe aribyo muheraho hanyuma uze kumubwira icyo kumusezerera ko aricyo cyari gitumye muhurira aho hantu. Irinde kandi kumubwira amagambo amukomeretsa no kumubwira nabi igihe umusezerera. Wimwereka uburakari n’umujinya ahubwo mubwirana umutuzo n’ubwitonzi budasanzwe.
3.Mubwize ukuri kwawe kose, kweruye udaciye ikintu na kimwe ku ruhande impamvu iguteye guhitamo gutandukana na we. Mubwire amakosa ye yakabije mutashoboye kumvikanaho kuko yanze kuyareka ariko ntiwibagirwe no kumushima imico myiza wamubonanye unamwifurize kuzayihorana.
4. Muhe umwanya na we avuge. Uku kuvuga kwe birashoboka ko hari ibisobanuro ashaka kuguha anasaba imbabazi, muhe umwanya rero na we avuge kuko nta gitangaza ko ushobora kuvaho unisubiraho ku cyemezo wari wafashe cyo kumusezerera kuko yemeye amakosa ye agasaba imbabazi ndetse akagusaba no kongera kumuha amahirwe ya nyuma ukaba wabyemera mugasubirana, Gusa si byiza na gato ko uhaguruka ugiye gusezerera umukunzi wawe wagerayo ukisubiraho, ibi byerekana ko icyemezo wari wafashe utari wagitekerejeho mbere bihagije. Ibyiza rero ni ugufata icyemezo cyo kumusezerera nyuma yo kubyigaho bihagije na we mukabyiganaho,iki cyemezo kikaza aricyo cya nyuma gishoboka.
5. Wikwirenganya, niba mwarabiganiriyeho bihagije mukabonera hamwe ko umuti w’ikibazo ari uko mwatandukana irinde kwicuza no kwisubiramo ngo uvuge ko gutandukana na we ari wowe ubiteye.
Ariko kandi nabwo uko gutandukana kwanyu wibigira igitaramo aho ugeze hose ngo ubonereho n’uburyo bwo kugenda usebya uwari umukunzi wawe, unamushinja ibyaha atigeze akora kugira ngo wumvikanishe ko gutandukana kwanyu ariwe biturutseho. N’ubwo mutandukanye ntibikubuza gukomeza kumubera imfura mu myitwarire yari asanzwe akuziho.
6. Wimusaba ko yakomeza kukubera inshuti kuko ibi bishobora kumutera gutekereza ko ushaka kumugira inshoreke cyangwa ko kumusaba gutandukana na we atari byo wamubwiraga mu by’ukuri ahubwo ushaka kumutendekeraho cyangwa kumukundiraho undi.
Mureke we niba yumva mwakomeza kuba inshuti zisanzwe abikwisabire kuko yenda ubwo hari imbuto wamwereye zimutera kukugumana nk’inshuti isanzwe yo mu buzima. Niba akeneye ko mwakomeza kuba inshuti rindira abe ariwe ubikwisabira kandi nabwo niba ubimwemereye wumve ko ugomba kumwitondaho mu buryo bwose.
7.Irinde ikintu cyose cyamutera kumva ko akiri akataraboneka imbere yawe, wimwoherereza ubutumwa bugufi burimo kumubaza uko ameze n’ibindi byamwereka ko ukimwitayeho nyuma y’ibyumweru bibiri mutandukanye . Ibi ubimukoreye byamuha ikizere ko ukimukeneye , ko ukeneye ko mwakwiyunga.
iyi ni imyitwarire ikomeza nyuma yo gutandukana.
8.Irinde guta umutwe no kwiga imico mibi ; Gutandukana n’uwo mwakundanaga si ikibazo kuko no mu buzima busanzwe habaho guterana no gutandukana. Wikwiheba wumva ko ubuzima bugiye kukubihira. wigira imyitwarire idakwiye, guma ube uwo uriwe kandi uko usanzwe. Wikwibuka ibyo yagiye agukorera byiza cyangwa ibyo yagusezeranyije byagiye bikunezeza cyane ngo wumve ko nta wundi mukunzi uzabona umeze nkawe. Ishyiremo icyizere ko uzabona undi mukunzi uzagukunda neza kandi ashobora no kuzaba arenze kuri uwo mutandukanye. Umva ko utari uwa mbere n’uwanyuma utandukanye n’uwo mwakundanaga.
9.Irinde guhita ufata umwanzuro wo kutazongera gukunda ukundi. Gutandukana n’umukunzi ntibyoroha kubyakira.Yego, Utandukanye n’umuntu wari uw’agaciro mu buzima bwawe ndetse urumva nta wundi uzabona ushobora gusangiza inzozi zihanitse z’ubuzima bwawe. Ibi biroroshye gufata icyemezo cyo kubyikuramo n’ubwo bizajya bigaruka mu mutwe rimwe na rimwe. Wikwiyicira ubuzima rero ufata icyemezo gihubutse cyo kutazongera gukundana. Si wo muti kuko ushobora kwibuza ayo mahirwe kandi yenda uwo mwari gukundana ariwe wari kuzaguhoza amarira watewe no gutandukana n’uwo wa mbere.
10. Wihagarika itumanaho ryose wagiranaga n’uwo mwatandukanye.Gusiba nimero za telephone ye, kumukura mu ncuti wagiraga kuri facebook no kuri email, si byiza. Yego ntazakomeza kuba umukunzi wawe ariko ubucuti busanzwe bwo nta kibazo kubukomeza.
MUKAHIRWA Olive
Umuryango.com
